Viva La Vida Loca 3
by Mz. Random Awesomeness
Summary: It's Winter! Yay winter! Snowball fights, hot cocoa, Christmas presents, ALL KINDS OF STUFF! Lots of FAX and EGGY and JEVAN is what I'm calling it lol! NO FLAMES! and read the other two stories first! Peace!
1. Sorry, Max!

**WE LIKE TRILOGIES, YES WE DO!!!!!!!!!!!**

**WE LIKE TRILOGIES, HOW BOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!**

**YAY TRILOGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**HERE IS WHAT EVERYBODY'S BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**VIVA LA VIDA LOCA 3!!!!!!!!!!**

**SET IN….**

**Dun Dun Dun……………**

**WINTER!!!!!!!!!**

**YAY WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Fang: I think they want the chapter now.**

**Me: Me too. But the question is….are they ready for it?????**

**Fang: I don't know….**

**Me: There's only one way to find out…..**

**ARE YOU READY FOR IT?!?!?!?!??**

**I don't think you are so let me ask again.**

**ARE YOU READY FOR IT??!?!??!??!?**

**Yeah?**

**Well skip this and read you idiots!!!!!!**

**ENJOY!!!!!!!**

**Max POV**

It's cold. Very very cold. There's SNOW on the ground. As many of you may know, snow, cold weather, rain…..we don't get along. I hate hate hate hate the cold. But the rest of the Flock just looooooooooooooove it. They've been having snowball fights every day, and some at night, while I sit on the couch drinking hot cocoa and watching soap operas. There was nothing else on. Even Fang left me to go have fun in the snow. He said I was boring. Whatever! I have better things to do than prancing around in ice that fell from the sky. I just haven't found out what that thing is.

Suddenly I heard the front door open and Evan and Juay stepped through the door, dripping wet with snow in their hair. They were also letting the cold in air in, almost blowing out the fire in the fireplace. They got snow all on the floor.

"Close the door! It's cold!" I told them.

"Oh come on, Mom! Come outside! It's fun!" he said flicking water on my face. I quickly wiped it off.

"No thanks," I said disgusted.

"Please, Max?" Juay said.

"I'll just stay here, watching All My Grandchildren and getting drunk off of hot chocolate"

"Alright. See ya later, Mom," Evan said holding the door open for Juay. He's such a gentlemen to her. Let that be me, trying to go outside and he wouldn't think twice about opening the door for me. He just might have let it close on me. But hey. Juay has come around more. More play dates, more stays over for dinner… she even insisted that we call her Juay. Evan didn't like that too much because that nickname was supposed to be especially for him. He got over it soon.

I felt a rush of cold air again. I looked back at the door to see Fang standing there, with snow all in his hair, his puffy black coat about down to his knees, thick black gloves, jeans, and black Timberlands. He shook his hair like a wet dog and grinned evilly at me. I was suddenly very frightened.

"Evan told me you didn't wanna come outside," he said. Evan! That little booger ratted me out! I'm in some serious trouble. I already have an idea of what he's gonna do.

"Touch me, and you will never see the light of day again," I said glaring at him.

"You didn't say that last night,"

"You're sick! What do you want?"

"Oh nothing. Just checking on you," he said walking towards me. He placed a small kiss on my lips. I was distracted for a second, then my mind came back to find that I was now in his arms. Being carried. Towards the door.

Oh, God.

"Fang put me down right now," I said quickly.

"Nah, I don't feel like it."

"Fang put me down right now," I repeated.

"Nope."

"FANG PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW."

"……………Nope."

I growled at him and thrashed and made it as difficult as possible for him to get me through the door. Did I mention how it didn't phase him at all? When we got to the door I stretched my arms out in an attempt to keep myself inside and away from the frigid cold and the snow that I knew he was gonna thro me in. In my head I kept begging,

Please, please don't do this to me, please don't do this to me….

But I forgot how he can read my mind because of the stupid Voice thing so he heard what I said. Darn it! My hold finally broke on the sides of the door and the cold hit me. I immediately began shivering. It's like 20 degrees out here! I saw the rest of the Flock looking at me with huge, evil, smiles on their faces. The twins were laughing. And Ryan, oh, I know he is just loving this. Getting ready to see to see the great Maximum Ride thrown in snow. I'm surprised they weren't selling tickets to the neighborhood kids.

Then I saw my demise. A giant pile of white snow. With Evan around, there could be anything in that pile. Ice, being my main worry. They all planned this. All of them. Even Shiloh was laughing. They all knew Fang was only who was strong enough to go through with this kind of plan. My own kids, Aiden included, were smirking at me.

What a family I have.

By now, my teeth were chattering and I was begging Fang with my eyes and mind to let me go free. To let me just go backing the house. I mean, I wasn't bothering anyone! And they didn't even let me put a coat on! I'm here, hovering over a pile of snow that's about to finish me off, in a fleece sweater and one of Fang's super huge fleece hoodies, jeans, and slippers. Well, they're slippers but they kinda look like boots. You get the idea.

"Sorry Max," Fang said as he let me go and I went sailing into that evil, ridiculous EXTREMELY COLD pile of snow. It got all in my pants (yes, underwear INCLUDED) my shirt (bra also included) my hair, my shoes, everywhere. I was absolutely drenched and freezing. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die of hypothermia!

The cold hit me so hard I can hardly breathe. I hear the laughs of all the Flock and Fang chuckling. Everyone enjoying my misfortune.

Now I am angry.

I stood up quickly, brushing off snow and glaring at everyone at the same time. My shivering before was nothing compared to this. I could actually hear my teeth chattering this time. I ran straight back into the house. Fang probably followed me, but guess what? I hate him right now! I ran straight to our room and grabbed another sweater and thick sweat pants, a pair of wool socks, my other boot-like slippers and the other super huge hoodie that Fang was probably going to put on when he came back in. Looks like he can't wear it anymore! Since my undies are drenched too, I grabbed a pair of clean boxers from Fang's drawer (Clean ones are very hard to find, by the way,) and a pair of my own underwear so I have double the warmth down there. Then I shot to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and turned on the hot water. I didn't even bother turning the cold water on. I stayed in there for about an hour. Maybe longer. Jamie knocked on the door.

"Mommy I gotta use the bathroom!" She called.

"Tough noodles!" I replied. I'm not too happy with anyone right now. When I finally got out, I put on all those layers of clothes and walked into the kitchen, not looking at anyone. I heated up some more hot cocoa in my very large mug, and went back up into my room, still not looking at anyone. I could feel their eyes on me. Thankfully I heard the shower running in our room, meaning I could steal the TV and annoy him. I spread out on our huge bed, turned the TV on and continued watching the wonderful soap opera that I was busy with before he decided to _throw me in the snow._

When he came out, he looked confused.

"Max, have seen my--" Then he glared at me. "You know that's my favorite winter hoodie,"

"Well since you decided to soak me in mine, I took yours. Deal with it." I said, angrily.

"Max, you--" I cut him off by turning the TV up higher. He sighed and stomped out. Probably going to the laundry room to look for another hoodie or sweater. I smiled to myself, realizing that I'd won. But then I thought I could annoy him some more, so I locked the door.

(Awesome Trilogy Invisible Trilogy Line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I

For the rest of the day, I'd basically given everyone the cold shoulder. I spoke to no one. After dinner, I went straight back to my room and locked the door. The kids were pretty upset that I wasn't talking to them, but that's what they get for going against their Mom! I'm sitting, all bundled up in my bed, watching Lifetime. I never thought I'd watch this channel ever in my life. Then again, I never thought I'd watch soap operas either so…

But this really sad movie was on. I forget the name of it. I think it's the Memory Keeper's Daughter. This movie is so so sad! I'm actually crying! This is what the winter does to me, folks. Makes me like an overemotional woman who can't control her tear ducts and watches Lifetime.

I hear Fang walk up to the door. He knocks.

"What?" I say, a little harsher than necessary.

"I'm sleepy,"

"Your point?"

"Let me in so I can go to bed,"

"I don't feel like it," I say, quoting him from earlier.

"Max, come on. The day's just about over. Let me in!"

"Nah, I don't think so. You can sleep on the couch."

"I'll make Evan give me his bed before I sleep on the couch. Let me in,"

"No,"

"Max!"

"No,"

"Ugh…."

I hear his footsteps move away. The thing is, they move toward Iggy and Ella's room. He's gonna try to get Iggy's lock picking kit, bust in, and have that arrogant smirk on his face. Little does he know, that I barricaded the door and locked the window. He wouldn't dare break it. So now what, Fangy? I win!

_For now, _He replied in my head.

Whatever. This was jus to get back at him for throwing me in the snow. It doesn't have to be a big, huge war just because I locked him out of our room.

_You took away my bed. This is now, war. _

_If you want to make this war, this won't be the only night you will be bedless. You'll also be deprived of something else if you know what I mean….._

……_You are so evil._

_I know. Have fun on the couch!_

_Goodnight._

_Night._

MORNING

"Maaaaaaaax!" I heard someone yell through the door. I spent the entire night tossing and turning because my furnace (Fang, who is ALWAYS so, so warm!) was not there last night.

"What?" I called back.

"Wake up! Breakfast is ready!" It was Ella.

"I'll think about it,"

"Fang, she won't get up," she told him.

_MAX GET THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!! _he yelled in my head. I fell off the bed, landing on my bad side, aka the side I was stabbed on. I let out half a yell, but stopped it. Then Fang and Ella would worry.

"Max, what happened?"

"Nothing, you just made me fall out of bed," I told him.

"You landed on your bad side, didn't you?" I paused.

"Did you hear that in my head, or are you guessing?"

"Both. Unlock the door."

I sighed and walked/ limped to the door. I moved my barricade and opened it, smiling weakly at Fang and Ella.

"Morning," I said.

"Don't lock your door when your in there alone," Fang said. I nodded. He kissed my forehead then asked if I was okay to walk. I hesitantly said yes, and we headed to breakfast.

"Mommy, are you still mad at us?" Char said. She had on her sunglasses. Looking me right in the eye. We found out that if she wears sunglasses, we won't get knocked out y her super eyes. I know. Awesome, right?

"No, baby. I'm not mad anymore."

"Good. I'm sorry,"

"Me too," Jamie said.

"Me three," said Evan.

"Me four!" Shiloh said.

"We're all sorry, Max. it was just a little fun," Angel told me. I smiled at her.

"Well I'm not. I rather enjoyed it," Iggy snickered. I hit him on the head. What an idiot brother I have.

"I would say the same thing, but I'm pretty sure a hit like that hurt even you, Iggy. Imagine what it would do to _me_,"

At that, we all laughed. He was absolutely right. I looked at the clock. It was time to take Evan and the twins to school. Waking them up is easier now, even though they constantly hope for a snow day. I finished up my last bit of eggs and put mine, as well as the kids plates in the sink. I told them to grab their book bags and get in our Chevy Tahoe. I ran upstairs to get my purse ( I know, I know. Me? A purse? Huge shocker! But it's not all girly and purse-like. It's like a small messenger bag,). Why do I need a purse? You ask. Well that's because Juay's aunt, Missy, (who is one of my best friends now. She's 26!) made a bet with me that I couldn't pluck a feather from each person in the Flock. Yes, she knows about the whole wing thing. She took it well. So did Juay. Especially when Evan took her for a little fly. But the point is, I did it. Without them knowing, and she owes me ten bucks per feather. I needed my bag to not also collect the money, but the to hide the feathers as well. I'm sure if they find out, they're all going to be so pissed but let's just count it as more payback for the whole throw-Max-in-the-snow plan.

I jumped into the front seat of my truck and took off towards Phoenix Elementary School.


	2. Evan's Question

**HELLO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Special thanks to my first seven reviewers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**YAY REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!**

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**Winged-Vampyre-Gallagher-Girl**

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**YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!!!!!!  
**

**If there's anything you'd like to have happen in the story, tell me in a review or PM me! I've gotten a couple suggestions already and I'm gonna use them! YAY SUGGESTIONS!!!!!!!**

**Moving on....**

**In my other story, The Future is a Strange Place, Fang left because.......dun dun dun............**

**He went out in a quest with Charlie the Unicorn to find the Magical Boysenberries at Candy Mountain.**

**Fang: No I didn't! I know why I really left, but I'm not telling you.**

**Me: Yes he did. Fang loves boysenberries, as you will find out in this chapter. **

**Fang: Yeah well.....I may love boysenberries but I didn't go looking for some with Charlie the Unicorn at Candy Mountain. **

**Me: Keep telling yourself that. **

**(Charlie the Unicorn is an amazing video on YouTube. He is amazing and you may have seen shirts with him on them in Hot Topic. Go look it up!!!!!)**

**Enjoy the Chappie!!!!!**

**Max POV**

The Flock and I are at Walmart, the most amazing store ever. The house was running low on simple things, such as toilet paper, so we decided it was time to do a little shopping. We were at a super Walmart, so they sold food here too! We split off as couples, basically, except for the kids. Aiden, Evan, the twins, and Shiloh all were a group and probably destroying the toy section. I told them not to buy too much since Christmas was right around the corner and Santa would be bringing them things. Ev just glared at me, and Jamie, Char and Shy had glints in their eyes. At least they still believed....But Aiden just looked confused.

"Who's Santa?"

"Santa is this awesome guy who brings toys to good dudes and dudettes," Charlotte answered.

"Have I been good?" He asked me.

"Of course! You're bound to get something from him. Just remember to make a list so we can send it to him and he'll know what you want,"

"Okay! Let's go!" He grabbed Jamie and Char's arms and ran off. I turned back to Fang.

"Where should we go first?"

"Uh, food," he said, taking my hand and walking in that direction.

We got all sorts of food. About 10 loaves of bread, 8 Family sized bags of chips, large numbers of juice and milk, fruit, veggies, snacks... But then I saw Fang pick up a plastic bag and load it with boysenberries.

"Fang?"

"Hm?"

"You like....boysenberries?"

"Uh, yeah,"

"O.......kay........"

"What?"

"Nothing,"

I've known Fang my entire life, and never did I know that he even liked boysenberries. I didn't even know they sold at Walmart! Sometimes with Fang, it's better to let things go. Pick your battles. I'll tease him about it later. We continued shopping, picking up random things for the house, including an orange lava lamp that I picked up. No, it wasn't necessary, but I like it! And it'll probably annoy Fang because it's not black. Pretty soon we catch up with Iggy and Ella and their cart that's practically overflowing with stuff. Like ours.

"I just hope Nudge and Ryan didn't fill a cart like we did. We might go broke," I teased.

"Oh whatever. That house is practically empty! It's winter. We need to get all the things we might need for the holidays," Ella said.

Angel came up next to me saying,

"Uh, Max? Fang? You might want to come with me...."

"What's wrong?"  
"It seems that Evan and another _normal _boy have gotten into a disagreement...."

She didn't have to say anything more. I glanced at Fang then shot off toward the toy section. When I reached the third isle, I saw Evan repeatedly punching a young boy in the nose.

"EVAN RIDE WHAT _DO _YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I yelled. He didn't stop punching the boy, so I walked over to him and grabbed him by the back of his collar. He started coughing from the shirt choking him, so I loosened up my grip. There was blood on his fist and around the boy. His nose looked like it was broken in multiple places and his whole mouth was swollen. I bent down to him.

"Are you okay?" I stupidly asked.

"N-No," He choked out, spitting blood.

"Oh shit. Evan what did you do?!" He was glaring at me as I spoke to him. But he didn't answer me.

"Evan!" I yelled through clenched teeth.

"He goes to my school," He said tightly.

"Your point?"

"He hurt Juay,"

"No! I didn't! I swear!"

"I saw you! Dickhead! I couldn't get you in school, so I got you now,"

"Excuse me, what is the meaning of this?" Asked a business looking man. Apparently the manager.

"Ah...my nose," cried the boy.

"Um, you see Mister...." I looked at his name tag. " Callahan, this young man here ran into the top shelf. We're only here to help him." I lied.

"No I--" I kicked him softly before he could finish his sentence. If he did, we'd be in serious trouble.

"Then why does that young man have blood on his hands?" He asked, looking at Ev.

"He was trying to put pressure on his nose to stop the bleeding."

He paused for a second. Searching my eyes for any signs of lying. Little does he know that I'm skilled in the art of the "Lie". I've been doing it for years! I have to be the Guru of Lying.

"Very well then. I'll send someone to clean this up."

"Thank you," I crouched down back to the boy. "Listen here, I don't know what you did to Julianna but it's very rude to put your hands on a girl. Go to the bathroom and clean up your face. How much do you want to pretend this never happened?"

"Um, twenty bucks?" That's it?! I would have said something witty, like, "How ever much you have in your wallet," or "A million," Something like that. Whatever! Saves my pocket. I took out a twenty from my bag and gave it to him. He got up and ran to the bathroom, his hand in front of his nose. I turned and gave Evan a stern look.

"I know, I know, I can't go punching people just because they hurt Juay."

"Yes."

"Am I in trouble?"

"Nah, I don't think so."

"Really? Why?"

"Because if he did hurt Juay then he deserves what he got."

"Oh. Thanks, Mom!" He ran and gave me a hug.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's go before you punch someone else."

We met back up with the rest of the Flock at the front. They mostly had snacks and new CDs that came out so we got in line and paid, then we put everything in the trunks of the car and headed home through the snow falling.

The first thing Evan did when we got home was call Julianna. I don't blame him. What I didn't expect was the question he asked me when he got off the phone.

"Mom, can Juay spend the night?"

PAUSE.

Did he really just ask me that? No, he couldn't have. There must be something in my ears. He must be joking. That's it! A joke! A sick twisted joke being played on me, yet again. I busted out laughing dramatically, holding my sides and wiping my eyes of imaginary tears.

"That's a good one, Ev," I said sarcastically. I looked at his face. He's serious. Dead serious. He really thinks she can spend the night. They're only eleven years old! They can't have co-ed sleepovers! Who knows what Iggy has put in Evan' s mind and what he plans on doing....with her. Or _to_ her. Ugh! I didn't expect this for another four years at least!

"You're serious?" I asked. He nodded.

"Ev, you're only eleven. What does she need to spend the night for?"

"Cuz it's fun! I'm gonna _do_ anything if that's what you're thinking."

"Ev, you're a boy. Your hormones basically rule over your mind."

"But I'm only eleven, I don't have hormones yet," He said, thinking he won the argument.

"You always have hormones, Ev. They just get stronger as you get older and the answer is no."

"Why not?! You said yourself she's like family now! Family should be able to spend the night!"

"Well when one of the family members has a severe crush on that person, spending the night isn't such a hot idea,"

His cheeks turned a little pink and he turned away, embarrassed. I don't know why. It's not like no one else that he's madly in love with her.

"Please?" He said softly.

"I tell you what. See what your dad and Uncle Iggy and Gazzy say. If they say it's alright and they trust you won't try anything, she can come."

"Really?!"

"Yes. Now go!" He went running off up the stairs. I highly doubt that Fang would sat yes to this. But then again he's a sexist pig and so are Iggy and Gazzy. Now if the twins came asking if a boy could spend the night over here, Fang would be absolutely against it. The answer would be a definite NO. But since it's Ev he just might say yes. Which is what I'm afraid of.

**Evan POV  
**"Dad Dad Dad Dad!!!!" I called as I ran upstairs to the game room.

"What?" He said, not looking at me. He was playing a car racing game against Auntie Nudge. He was winning.

"I gotta ask you something!"

"What?"

"Pause the game!"

"Are you kidding? I'm winning! No way, just tell me."

"I need your attention!"

"You have half of it,"

I sighed. "Well, can Juay spend the night?"

"No!" He yelled.

"Gotcha Fang!" Auntie Nudge teased.

"Why not?!" I exclaimed.

"What'd you say, Ev?"

I just now noticed that he wasn't even paying attention to me! He was yelling no because Auntie Nudge was in the lead now. Some Dad I have...

"If you would pause the game and listen to me maybe you would have heard." I heard him sigh loudly and turn around on the couch glaring at me.

"What is it?"

"Can Juay spend the night?"

"What'd your mom say?"

"No,"

"Then no."

"But she said if you and Uncle Iggy and Uncle Gazzy say yeah that she could."

"What does she need to spend the night for? You're only eleven."

"That's what she said! I know I'm eleven! I won't even try anything I just wanted her to spend the night."

"Why?"

"I don't know, cuz it'll be fun staying up all night with her,"

"Doing what?" he said looking pointedly at me.

"Ugh! Nothing! Talking! What we do whenever she comes over!"

My parents are really taking this out of proportion. I just want her to spend the night! I really don't want to try anything. I swear! I just think it'll be awesome waking up and knowing that Juay's there with me and we can go to school together in the morning...seeing her sleep, finding out if she snores or not. Seeing her sleeping in my bed. While I sleep on the floor of course. There's no way anyone would go for me sleeping in the bed with her. Even though I'd LOVE that...Playing with her hair.....holding her close to me as we drift softly to sleep, dreaming about each other--

"EVAN." Dad yelled waving his hand in front of my face. Must have spaced out like Mom does all the time.

"Yeah?" I said, shaking my head.

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

"She can spend the night."

"REALLY?!"

"Who's spending the night?" Uncle Iggy asked walking in.

"Julianna," Dad answered.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Fang?"

"Not really, but as long as they don't do anything..."

"He's eleven. He probably just figured out that he can jerk himself off and your letting a _girl_ come over and spend the night?"

PAUSE. Wait a minute....You can jerk yourself off??????

"Thanks for putting the thought in his head, Iggy." Dad said sarcastically.

"I'm leaving now," Said Auntie Nudge. I'm sure this would be uncomfortable for her.....It's uncomfortable for _me_.

"What? That's how old we were when we figured it out." Uncle Iggy said.

"You can _do _that?" I said, completely lost. I mean.....I saw this movie......Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay and this dude was.....you know, and then when he......you know, _it _got all on his face but I had no idea what he was doing! I remember when Uncle Iggy gave me 'The Talk' and I almost passed out but I didn't know that you could get a......you know, by yourself! I mean, it's kinda gross but, Uncle Iggy said eventually to me it'll sound like a good idea.....

"Ev, don't listen to Uncle Iggy," Dad said.

"But—how--"

"Your hand," Uncle Iggy answered for me. Then I got it.

"OH!"

"Thanks for teaching my kid how to jack off Iggy," Dad sneered. "Max is gonna kill you."

"Who said she has to know? Ev, whatever you do, if you love me and want me to live, DO NOT tell your mother I told you. And if you try it, go in the bathroom and lock the door and turn on the sink and clean up after--"

"Iggy, shut the fuck up."

"Jeez Fang, I would guess he would know this already considering you were like, the King of Jacking."

I burst out laughing. That was just too funny! The King of Jacking! Haahahahahahahahah! I was on the floor holding my stomach because it hurt from laughing so hard. I think I saw my Dad blush a deep red which was SO weird because usually if he blushes it's not even red, it's pink. Then I saw him punch Uncle Iggy in the nose.

"What? It's not my fault that you were fantasizing at night about Max and I could hear you," Uncle Iggy snickered. At that I stopped laughing. Now this has gotten gross. Dad fantasizing about Mom?

EW!!!!!!!

"Okay, so Dad says yes, Uncle Iggy what do you say?"

"I say no."

"Fine. I'm going to see what Uncle Gazzy says." I started towards the door when Uncled Iggy said,

"Good luck." I wonder what that's supposed to mean.


	3. Emo Husband Say What!

**This one isn't very long!!!! GRRRR!!!!!!!**

**Evan POV**

So I walked down the hall to Uncle Gazzy and Chasity's room. I knocked on the door.

"Yo," I heard him call.

"It's me," I replied.

"Come on in, Ev." I opened the door and saw that Uncle Gazzy and Chasity were messing with all kinds of wires and configuring all these different things. I was totally confused to what they were trying to do.

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're trying to find a way to get our iPod to play on the TV." Chasity answered.

"Oh." Where did they find this idea?

"What did you need, Ev?" My uncle asked me.

"I wanted to ask you if I could have Juay spend the night. I asked, my Dad said yes, and Uncle Ig said no. So it's kind of up to you."

"Um...." He put his chin in his hands and thought for a good while. A good long while. Did I mention that I'm very impatient?

"What do you think, Chas?"

"He's eleven! Why does he need a girl over here?"

"Good point. But still...I mean, when I was eleven I wanted a girl to sleep over. But I was just getting out of the girls-are-icky stage."

"I don't know, Gaz."

"Hm....I'll say.....yes, Evan."

"REALLY?!"

"No. I think it's a bad idea." Way to smash my hopes and spirits!!!

"But Uncle Gazzy it'll be so much fun!" I whined. Now I only break out the whining for something I really really really want. Like this. Usually in my family, whining gets you no where. Only Bambi Eyes do, which I haven't mastered yet. Unfortunately. My sisters have though. They use it on me all the freaking time. It sucks.

"Sorry man," he said. Damn it! I mean....Darn it! Yeah I have a bit of a potty mouth....I blame my parents. They cuss all the time!

I walk out of the room with my head hanging low, pouting. I was so close to having her stay! They obviously don't trust me with a girl staying over. They don't think I can handle it. The only person who does think I can, is my Dad. But he's been with the same girl (practically) his whole life. He doesn't understand what I'm going through. So much pain...Am I being over dramatic? I think so.

**Max POV**

I was in the kitchen, attempting to heat up a bowl of soup. I know right? It's just soup. Soup can't be harmful! No way! I'm not so badly skilled at cooking that I can't even heat up simple soup. It can't be that difficult. Plus I'm hungry. And cold. But you probably guessed that already.

I put my soup in the microwave with my fork and set it on two minutes. Right when I was about to hit Start, I heard,

"CODE BLUE!!! CODE BLUE!!!! MAX IS IN THE KITCHEN!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I REPEAT, THIS. IS. NOT. A DRILL!!!!!" I turned around to see Gazzy yelling at the top of his lungs and the rest of Flock running into the kitchen. Everyone looked frantic and scared for lives. Fang ran up to me and restrained my arms from behind.

"Let me go!"

"No!" He yells back at me. Well then...

"Please? All I was doing was heating up soup!"

"With a metal spoon in the microwave!" Gazzy yells.

"Max, you could have blown the house down!" Iggy yells. Why is everyone shouting at me?!

"As fun as that would have been, yes! You could have blown up the house!" Gazzy again.

"Well SORRY!" I yell back.

Fang picks me up and carries me all the way to the bedroom like I'm gonna blow up the house if I'm anywhere else. This really sucks!

"Explain yourself." He tells me when we get there.

"I didn't know there was a spoon in the bowl with it!" I shout.

"Mhm."

"I'm serious!"

He glares at me and crosses his arms.

"Fine. I apologize."

"Don't do it again." Then he starts walking out. I get up to follow him, but he puts a hand out saying,

"No. You're on punishment for the rest of the day."

Emo husband say what?!

"Excuse me?"

"You're on punishment."

"I'm Maximum Ride. You can't put me on punishment, Fangy."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't!"

"Yeah, I really can."

"If you do we don't do the really special thing I planned for us tonight." I say, looking at him pointedly.

He pauses for a second. There ya go ladies. Just dangle that right in front of him. He'll take the bait eventually.

"Fine." He says giving up. Told ya! Gets him every time. I smile brightly at him and walk right out the door swinging my butt his way as I pass him.

Sucker.


	4. Woe is Fang sort of

**I AM SORRY BEYOND WORDS.**

**I know it's taken FOREVER for me to update!!! EXTREME writer's block!! But I'm BACK!!! Please forgive me!!! I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so s o so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SORRY!!!!!!!!!! But here it is! And I'm gonna try to make it the least bit perverted and uncivilized as I can make it!!! Promises!!! I'll make it long too!!! Please forgive me!!!!**

**Max POV**

Another snow day. Just freaking wonderful.

I'm sitting on the couch, yet again, but this time there's a difference. Fang went ahead and got himself sick. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the almighty Fang has a cold. He's sitting here with his head in my lap, drinking tea and coughing his guts out. Such a big baby.

But me, being all soft and cuddly and sweet and the perfect wife now, I'm running my fingers through his hair, trying to relax him. I really do wonder where the hardcore non-head-rubbing Maximum Ride went. I think she ran away when I get pregnant. Or was it before that when we moved here? I don't know. I guess everybody likes this Max better.

"I do." Fang sniffled. You know, this whole voice contraption is getting on my nerves! He can hear _everything_ I'm thinking! First my mind is invaded by Jeb or Ari, now Fang gets to play with my head. Which way way worse.

I _lightly_ hit Fang in the head. Emphasis on lightly. I would never beat him up while he's sick! Are you kidding???? .

"Daddy we made you a card!" Jamie said running in with her twin sister on her tail.

"Yeah, because we love you and stuff!" Charlotte added.

They took this card out from behind their back that was doused in glitter and sparkles and glue. It was messiest yet cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

"Thanks girls." He said, forcing a smile.

"You welcome! Read it read it!"

He opened it and as soon as he did......

He sneezed, causing all the glitter to fall right off, into Jamie and Char's faces. It was too funny! I started laughing, almost in tears. Fang looked up and glared at me. I just handed him a tissue, smiling.

He wiped his nose and read the card, then said thank you to the girls again and went to hug them, but stopped.

"I would hug you, but I don't want to get you sick."

"It's okay! We'll see you later!" Then they went bouncing off as quick as they came. I honestly wonder where they came from. I have never bounced anywhere in my life. Angel, Nudge and Ella rubbed off on them WAY too much.

Fang groaned and I looked down. He was pouting. (Gasp!) I LIGHTLY hit him on the head again.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I don't wanna watch My Super Sweet Sixteen, Max."

"Aw, come on! It's almost over!" He groaned again. I sighed, in defeat. Fang being sick must give me a soft spot.

"Here," I said, handing him the remote. He grinned and lifted up to kiss me, but I pulled away.

"No way, Rudolph, you're not getting me sick." I said to him, referring to his bright red nose.

"Fine." He grumbled. And settled back down, turning to something sports related, I'm sure. I didn't mind. I mean, he was sick, right? You're supposed to treat sick people nice. I think I'm doing a fabulous job.

_She wanna touch me woo ooo!_

_She wanna love me woo ooo!_

_She'll never leave me woo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo..._

_Don't trust a hoe--_

"Hello?" I said answering my phone.

"Hey Maxie," Missy said.

"Oh hey, what's up?"

"We need to go Christmas shopping, dear." Crap! I forgot all about Christmas.

"Um, okay, when?"

"Today?"

"Can't. Taking care of the baby."

"Who, Charlotte or Jamie?"

"Neither. Fang." She let out a small laugh.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's got the bird flu."

"WHAT?!"

"Not the real bird flu, you idiot! We're part bird, he has the flu, get it?"

"Oh. Phew, you had me worried for a second."

"Yeah, he's just sick."

"Well let the kids take care of him! Ella and Iggy are there aren't they?"

"Well, yeah but--"

"NO buts! I'll be over in an hour." And she hung up. Great, now I have to leave Fang to go _shopping. _A shiver ran down my spine just thinking about it.

"Have fun." Fang said sadly, after I sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Have fun shopping while I stay here, coughing up my insides."

"You can't go with me. You're sick!"

"So? If I don't go the kids are gonna bug me all day about if I need anything."

"So let them take care of you! You'll be fine. I'll be back soon."

He groaned and turned his head back to the TV. I rolled my eyes and walk up the stairs to our room to change clothes. I put on a sweater, jeans, and my favorite Ugg boots. I grabbed my bag and ran the stairs. My coat was on the tree by the front door, so I threw that on, and kissed Fang on the cheek before heading out into the freezing cold.

(Awesome Invisible Line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

"Where to, Captain?" I said as Missy climbed into my truck.

"It's your car. But we do need to head to Target. I hear they're having a sale. And then we can hit the mall, grab a bite to eat, then hit the other mall, and--"

"Wait, we're going to two malls?"

"Why not?"

"You know I hate shopping!"

"Well this isn't about you! This about finding gifts for our family." I sighed deeply, hating her logic. Then I slowly pulled out of her driveway, on the road to Target.

"What are you gonna get Fang?" she asked me.

"Um...I don't really know. There's not that many things that he loves besides me."

"Ha ha ha! That's true. You should get him something for his laptop. Like....wireless Internet or something."

"He already has that."

"A case?"

"Has it."

"The Sims 3? I don't know but you need to think of something."

"I think....I think I'm gonna get him a motorcycle."

"A motorcycle??? What the hell does he need that for? Your whole family has like, sixteen cars anyway."

"Yeah, but I want to get him something for himself. Like, a Ninja or something. Fast, hardcore looking, quiet....Just like him."

"He's fast?"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, but if he IS fast, your bedroom action might be a little less satisfying as you lead me to believe."

Okay, super awkward. Maybe I let me and Fang's personal life slip out every now and then, but I don't go bragging to people! I mean, it's something I'd rather keep quiet and Fang would kill me if he found out that I do tell people. But sometimes I mess up about the whole confidentiality thing...

I didn't reply to Missy's answer, just turned up the radio (and the heat) and cruised along until we reached Target. I found a semi-close parking spot and we hopped out of my gigantic truck. The first thing Missy did was get a cart, then head over to the dollar section. Me? I grabbed a cart and went to the clothing section, where Nudge, Angel and Ella's presents would be found. For Nudge, I got a pair of destroyed jeans with unknown wording going down the pants leg. A pink and brown sweater that had a loose neckline, and a scarf to match. For Angel I went in the juniors section and got her a pair of Cargo pants and a shirt that said "Cute University Since—I Was Born" on it. She'd love it. Ella's gift was a pair of high heeled boots that had leg warmers around them to match the perfect purple and black sweater.

I went to the toy section for the Twins, Evan and Shiloh. I got the Twins about 20 Hot Wheels cars (ten each), a race track to put em on, a box of Legos, and one of those huge cars that run on batteries. It was a bright yellow Hummer and had two seats, but a little extra one on the back so Shy or Evan could ride in it too. How do I expect to hide a giant toy truck for three weeks from two five year old mutant girls? I have no clue. As for the Hot Wheels and Legos and stuff, those will be easy to hide. Even though the girls are really preppy (thanks to my wonderful sisters) they only like playing with cars and Legos. They're always stealing Evan's old toys. They don't like playing with dolls and stuffed animals like regular girls. They must get that from me. I got Shiloh one of those Leapsters and some games to go with it, along with a few interactive stuffed animals. Ella says that even though he's a kid, he's still needs to learn. I almost laughed in her face when she said that, but it's true.

Next, I moved on to the electronics section for Iggy and Gazzy and Ryan and Aiden's gifts. A Disturbed album here, a Mettalica album there, an iPod along with a 25$ gift certificate for iTunes here, and a Grand Theft Auto video game and their gifts were set. Now... what to get Mom?

"Hey Max," Missy said, coming up behind me with her cart filled to the brim.

"Ready to check out?" I nodded and told her to let me go first because she so much stuff. She laughed and said whatever, then we were in line.

**I know, random and unnecessary, but I didn't want to leave you hanging for too long!!! I'm sorry!!!! please forgive me!!!! :D :D :D YOU ALL GET VIRTUAL RASPBERRY LEMONADE AND COOKIES!!!! YAYZ!!!!!!!**


	5. Trees!

**Max POV**

Once we left Target, we moved on to the malls and I got Juay's present along with Chasity's while Missy shopped for everyone else on the planet. I mean the girl wanted to get a present for a teacher she had in 4th grade who was still alive and she's always been close to. Oh, and did I mention she hasn't seen this woman in five years??? Yeah. That's how much Missy shops. I ended up getting Juay a nice bracelet and necklace set with her own little Angel wings in them. For Chasity, I got her the new Blessthefall album because apparently she loves them more than life itself. All you hear on the CD player in her and Gazzy's room is that screaming crazy metal whatever shooting through the walls. I feel kind of hypocritical buying her the album, but hey. I'm just nice like that.

Speaking of me being nice, I decided to call Fang as I ate a pretzel from Auntie Anne's on a bench.

"H-Hello?" he choked out.

"Aw, poor baby."

"Yes, poor me."

"Feeling any better?"

"No."

"At all?"

"No."

"Do you want me to bring you something back?"

"I don't care." It turns out that Fang is cranky when he is sick.

"Do we need more hot chocolate?"

"I don't know."

"Whatever. I'll be home soon. Bye, Fang."

He just grunted and hung up. He must really not be feeling well.

**Fang POV**

God I hate being sick. For multiple reasons.

Max isn't here.

The twins keep running up to me asking if I want anything and I'm trying to sleep.

There's no more hot chocolate.

Iggy and Ella don't even care that I'm sick. They act like I'm not even here.

But whatever. Max said she'd be home soon and then things will be better because she will have hot chocolate and make the twins leave me alone!

"Daddy, do you want anything?" I hear Jamie ask me. I resist the urge to snap at her. I mean, come on, she looks like a miniature Max! Which means she looks like Angel! And if you all remember correctly, because of Angel's sincere adorableness, I let her have Total. You can't imagine the things I let my own kids get away with.

"No, I don't, sweetie. I just wanna sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You really sure?"

"Yes."

"You really really sure?"

"Yes, Jamie. Yes. I'm sure."

"You really really reall--"

"JAMIE. STOP."

Silence.....Great. I snapped at her. Wonderful. I open my eyes and see my little girl standing in front me with her shoulder length blond hair and dark brown eyes that resemble my own. She has tears in her eyes, and her arms behind her back, fidgeting. Now I feel like an asshole. Kids'll do that you.

"Come here." I tell her holding out my arms. She moves slowly into my arms, pouting. I think she let one tear fall on purpose just to make me feel worse.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, okay? I'm just tired."

I feel her nod against my chest. I let her go to look her in the eyes and she's still pouting.

"So can I just take a nap? I'll feel much _much_ better if you let me sleep."

"Okay." Jamie says in a little squeaky voice. What an actor. A good actor, too. She fooled me. I kiss my daughter's forehead and lay back down hoping the other one doesn't come down here asking me if I need anything.

"Hey Dad," UGH.

"What, Ev?"

"Whoa, what's with the attitude?"

"I'm sick, and would like to sleep, but I can't thanks to you and your sisters."

"Well I just ask you something real quick."

"What?"

"How do you manage to beat Auntie Nudge in Need for Speed Carbon? Because I really--"

"Evan shut up and let me sleep."

"But--"

"Shut up before I call your mom."

I heard him huff a fine then walked away. I mean seriously. I'm trying to take a nap and all he wants to ask me about is some stupid game about stupid Nudge and how to beat her. He's so inconsiderate. I sigh and close my eyes, trying to calm my breathing and fall into sleep. I'm so close, so incredibly close to being unconscious until I hear,

"Daddy do you need anything?"

IT NEVER ENDS.

**Max POV  
**After I took Missy back home, I snuck around back into the garage at the very top shelf and stored all the Flock's gifts. Hopefully they won't find them or hear it in my mind, ect....They're not stupid, which is something that doesn't really come in handy when trying to hide Christmas presents. I walked through the front door, and saw Fang making out with the couch, shivering. Where was his blanket? Didn't I give him I one before I left?

"Fang," I said, walking over to him. He groaned.

"Where's your blanket?"

"Jamiuughtookighsit."

"Wuh?"

"Jamie took it." He said sitting up.

"Why would she take your blanket?"

"She wanted to wash it."

"Why would let her wash? She's five years old!"

"......I'm having a bad day, okay? I'm sure she didn't blow up the washing machine."

"I beg to differ." Iggy said, carrying my daughter in with soap and bubbles all in her hair, drenched in water. She was laughing.

"Mommy I washed Daddy's blanket then the washer machine went BOOM and I got all wet and soapy!"

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. When the chaos ever end?

I shook my head heading upstairs to get Fang another blanket.

"Your medicine's in the bag," I told him.

"I don't want medicine."

"Just take it!"

I went to me and Fang's bedroom and pulled the comforter off the bed, and an extra pillow. He took it gratefully. I asked him if he wanted anything and he mumbled, "No." so I decided that this would be a great time to start decorating. Like putting the tree up and hanging tinsel and mistletoes and such. A few years ago, I would be more concerned about even having a home to stay in. Now, my concerns are if there are enough ornaments to cover the entire tree. Ha.

Charlotte and Jamie usually like to help me decorate, so I call them down and ask them if they want to again.

"Yeah!" Is my very enthusiastic answer.

"Go ask Ev and Aiden if they want to help too." They nod and run off. While they do that, I run up to the attic and start bringing the box with all the decorations. This reminds me that we need to go get a tree. How could I forget that? It would be pretty difficult to decorate a tree you don't even have. Thank goodness the kids are already dressed.

"Yo! Flock!" I call out. Hopefully they all hear me. Iggy and Ella come down first, holding Shiloh. Then Gazzy and Chas, and Angel, and Nudge and Ryan.

"What's up Max?" Ryan says.

"We need to go pick out a tree." Everyone nods. This is something we all usually do together, but since Prince Fang is sick, he's not coming. Just my luck, huh? Looks like Iggy and Gazzy will be doing all the lifting.

(Awesome Invisible Line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

When we stopped to park in the tree picking site thingy, everyone jumped out and started running in different directions. All the kids pretty much followed each other. I decided to go with them, seeing as no one else wanted to. They were all way off towards the other side of the field, trudging through the snow.

"Snowball fight!" Evan called. As he prepared to throw a snowball right in Aiden's face.

"NO!" I shouted. "We're here to pick a tree, not play in snow." Ev pouted and Aiden sighed in relief.

"Come on." I said, walking in the direction where more trees were. All you could hear were little boots stomping around in snow that's probably up to their knees. Well, since they're bird-kids, maybe up to their calves. We're super tall remember?

Anyways, besides the fact that after every five minutes Shiloh yelled out, "There's Santa! He's behind that tree!" When we all knew, he was just using that wonderful two year old imagination, it was very tiring.

After about a hour of searching and dissing trees, Iggy and Ella yelled out that they had found THEE perfect-est tree ever and it would suit our house swimmingly. We all agreed, and went to chopping. When it was out of the ground, we strapped it on top of my Chevy and started on our way home.

(Awesome Invisible Line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The tree is up, and it looks absolutely fabulous. All the kids helped me put ornaments on, and I lifted Shiloh up to put on the star. He couldn't stop laughing as I lifted him because he's so ticklish. Coughcough(weallare)coughcough. But it's dark now, and you can really see all the blinking lights. When we started decorating Gazzy put on some Christmas music for us to work to. When Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer came on, the twins and Shy sang along while Ev sat there with his arms crossed shaking his head, and Aiden sat there looking confused. I wouldn't expect him to know that song. The Flock didn't up until we got free and spent a few Christmases with Mom. You know how it is.

"You did a good job." Fang tells me. We're sitting on the couch alone. I sent the kids to bed since it's really late.

"Thanks. It still amazes me how we even got here." He nods then makes this weird face, and sneezes into his sleeve. I bit my tongue to stop from laughing.

"Why don't you just take medicine like a normal person?"

"When have we ever been normal?"

"You know what I mean!"

"Cuz it's nasty."

"Oh stop being a baby. It'll help you sleep and clear your nose up."

"I know something that will clear me up and taste good but you won't let me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head.

"Fang seriously what do you mean?"

He just shakes his head. Fine then. I'll leave it alone. Although I hate when he does stuff like this! He leaves me little puzzles to try and figure out on my own. He's like a real version of the voice. Speaking of the voice.....I could try and use it to get into his head and figure out what he means! My best idea yet. Unless he can hear what I'm thinking right now.........

Silence........

I guess he can't.

I try and squeeze my mind into his (that made no sense at all.....).

_I can't believe she hasn't figured it out yet. How long have I been sick? Three days? I've had to go three days without a kiss from Max. That's like....torture. I mean, who cares if she gets sick? It's not like I have a disease or anything.....right? And kissing her would make me feel better. A lot better. Way way better. _

That's all he wants? Seriously? A kiss? A measly little kiss from Maxie? Aw. I actually kind of feel sorry for him now.

_Max, you read my mind?!?!?!?!_

Uh oh.

_Um.......no. I guessed._

_You lie. You so read my mind._

_Why are we having this conversation in our heads and we're sitting right next to each other?_

I look over at him and he looks at me and shrugs. He talks more in his mind.


	6. Merry Christmas!

**MAX POV**

"Mooooooooooooooooom!" I heard an adolescent voice yell. I shoved my face deeper into Fang's armpit, where I was comfortably sleeping, as weird as it sounds. Trust me, when you get a husband, the crook of his arm is the most comfy place EVER. And my wonderful son, Evan was trying to pry me from that oh so comfortable space for a most likely ridiculous reason.

"He's calling you, Max." Fang laughed.

"Mmmmmm," I moaned,

"Mom!" Then came the banging on our bedroom door. Then the little squeaky voices of his partners in crime.

"Mommy! Mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy!"

Then came the booming, slightly more mature voice of their accomplice...

"**MOM!**"

"Nice one, Aiden!"

"Thanks!"

I sighed and rolled over, checking the clock. It was hmmm, 10:00 in the morning! Don't they know this house doesn't start moving until noon? We have NEVER been up this early. Evan didn't even wake up this early when he was a baby! What is wrong with him?

"Why don't they ever call for _you _in the morning, Fang?"

He shrugged. It was too early for him to be speaking more than one full sentence. It was too early for any of us to be speaking one full sentence. Ugh.

"Auntie Max! Unca Fang! _Wake up wake up wake up wake up!_"

I sat up just as Iggy entered carrying his two year old demon spawn that was holding a stuffed Rudolph and wearing festive Christmas pajamas. He looked as if he'd been awakened by the early worms as well.

"Come on, guys. The kids want to open up presents."

Huh?

"What for?"

"It's Christmas morning, Max." Iggy said, talking to me as if I was the dumbest human being on the face of the Earth. Which I was beginning to think I was. I knew it was Christmas somewhere, in the back of my subconscious...

"Come on, Mommy!" Jamie yelled, rushing up and grabbing my hand. Char took Fangs.

"We have to see what Santa got us!"

I rubbed my eyes and trudged down the hall to the stairs. The kids let go of me and Fang's hands when they got to the stairs. They needed both hands for that: balance and to hold the rail. Ella taught them that. I figured the wings would steady them; worked for the Flock but apparently not my kids and Shiloh.

So the tree was beautiful, as I've said before and toys were piled up under it; millions of toys. Who knew what the Flock had gotten for each other and for the kids. Nudge had her head rested on Ryan's shoulder and was dozing off on the windowsill. He looked wide awake. Sometimes he was such a human. Angel was seated on the floor next to the fireplace with her head bouncing up and down against her chest. Gazzy was full on knocked out in Chasity's lap on the couch. She was also wide awake, along with Ella completing the group of early worm humans. Iggy moved on the kitchen, with Shiloh on his lap, probably getting orange juice and coffee for everyone.

I took a seat on the floor also, to help the kids open their presents while everyone pretended to be awake. Fang occupied the love seat, more than likely about to fall asleep as well, especially since he was just getting over being sick.

Iggy came back in and handed me a Christmas mug full of coffee. I took it gratefully. He set Shiloh down on the floor with Evan, Aiden and the twins. He ran right to the super huge box that was sooo not even for him. It had my name on it!

"Yo, Shy, that's my present!"

"But it big!"

"I know, but its not yours Buddy," Iggy scolded his child.

"But I'm a baby!" He pouted.

"And?"

"That means I get the big presents!"

"Says who?" Evan laughed.

"I don't know."

I grabbed my present and slid it behind me, to open after all the kids had opened theirs. Then I got the second biggest present under the tree and gave it to Shy. That one was his.

"Yay!"

Aiden reached for a reasonably sized box and started to peel it open. When all the wrapping was off, he was glowing.

"I got my own Handy Manny Play Set!"

"Who's it from?" I asked excitedly.

"Santa! But how do I thank him?" he asked.

"By being a good boy for the rest of the year until next Christmas."

"Okay!"

Jamie had crawl under the entire tree to get to hers. That one had her name written in huge letters on it, so she could see it easily. It was a good size, that's probably why she went for it.

"Don't cut your fingers trying to open it," I warned.

"How do you know what it is?"

"Santa shows me all the gifts he buys-um, makes in the toy shop when they're finished."

"Oh...Okay!"

The innocence of a child's mind.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH it's a Hot Wheels Super Racer set! Thank you, Mommy and Daddy!" She gave me a kiss, then when she saw that Fang was sleeping, she moved on to the next present. Charlotte had the same reaction to her same exact set, except it had racing princesses in hot wheels. Charlotte was slightly more of a girly girl.

Evan opened up his wonderful iPhone and didn't want to put it down. When Aiden asked to play with it, he almost lost it and punched his half brother in the face. This is where Christmas gets violent.

Overall, the kids came out with about a thousand toys each. Shiloh was highly satisfied with his Mini basketball hoop that he wanted to set up right then. In the dead of winter. Iggy gave a firm refusal.

My coffee was gone when it time for the grown ups to open their presents.

Except half of them were fast asleep.

"YO! GUYS! WAKE UP!" I yelled.

"Huh?" Nudge snorted, sitting up from leaning on Ryan.

"I'm up!" Angel said, trying to be convincing as she fixed her shirt and rubbed her face. Gazzy continued to snore helplessly on Chasity's lap. Fang rolled off the couch onto the floor.

Which was

HILARIOUS.

Me, Iggy, and the kids' loud guffaws at least got Gazzy to shift slightly. And turn Fang a small shade of pink. It was the best. Evan took a picture with his new phone. Talk about Christmas memories! You should have seen his f ace. I mean, it's his fault for being asleep on the Christmas morning. He probably thought he was in our warm comfortable bed and was going to turn over, placing an arm on my waist, but instead got a face full of floor! He looked so bewildered, it was hysterical...

"What happened?" Gazzy asked.

"F-Fang! Hahahaha! He-he fell off the couch! !" I laughed.

The kids were on their backs, holding their stomachs and Iggy was bent over at the knees, cracking up. Ella covered her mouth with her hand, trying not to laugh. Ryan shook his head, smiling. Chasity giggled quietly. Nudge and Ange were to freshly awoken to laugh at anything.

I crawled over to my confused and embarrassed husband, and gave him a kiss and hand him a mug of warm coffee. Then I handed him one of his gifts. Not the one from me, of course. That was for later. _Later_ later. We always wait until Christmas night to give each other our presents. The one I handed him was from Iggy, Ella and Shiloh.

"Thanks, guys." He said. It was Xbox Live. Greeeeat. Now he would spend all day in the game room with Evan and Nudge playing that stupid thing!

Iggy got pretty much a bunch of explosives (which he now had a license for...) so he and Gazzy could blow things up in the garage and shed. By the way, I sick of our grass being ruined from their ridiculous bombs! I'm actually thinking about getting an explosives shed, where Iggy and the Gasman can blow things up without ruining my grass. Maybe I'll look into it for Ig's birthday.

Nudge got a bunch of clothes, as expected, and Angel also got a bunch of make up and accessories. Gazzy a bunch of spy/electrical stuff that he didn't need, fang also got lots of music and a few other things he didn't need at all, some of which would never, ever, EVER be taken out in front of the kids. Iggy was just disgusting enough to give him lingerie for Christmas, which Iggy explained in secret,

"Would be more of Christmas present for him than Max."

The nerve of some people, right? Of course he got a huge punch in the head for that.

Evan took to his big brotherly duties and had the kids follow him upstairs to play in the game room, with all of their toys. Shiloh followed with his new Wow Wow Wubzy and Oswald stuffed animals. Iggy grabbed Ella's hand and floated off to the kitchen, probably to prepare lunch and dinner. Angel gave us all hugs and said she was headed off to Bryan's. Chasity dragged Gazzy back upstairs to their room. I could bet my right leg that they were going back to sleep. Nudge and her boy Ryan moved on to the kitchen with their coffee mugs. One noticeable thing about those two was that they loved to eat. They couldn't get enough food.

Since everyone had left, I grabbed Fang's arms and dragged him over to the big couch that both of us could fit on. Getting the idea, he spread out closest to the cushions and I made my myself comfy next to him.

Four kids later, I never would have imagined that cuddling up to Fang would still feel this good. I mean I get to do it every night, but sometimes it feels so good to just...chill. My head in that perfect little armpit space, his arm around my waist...it felt good. Especially on Christmas. The afternoon sun sparkled through the window as snow fell. Our gorgeous tree twinkled. Fang's breath got slower and slower. It made me want to say something rash. Really just...out there. Something he wouldn't expect at all. There are a few things I could say right now that would surprise him right now.

Things like...Let's go for a fly! Or...guess what, Fang! I found your parents! Or...Let's have another kid!

But one thing, the thing I _did_ say, surprised him most of all.

"I love you," I whispered.

His breathing stopped. I could swear his heart did too. I could hear it beating from where I was laying but then it just like, skipped a beat. His mouth opened, then it closed again, then reopened. I chuckled.

"Y-you don't have to say it back, or anything, I was just saying..."

It was silent for a while. I'd actually started to doze off. I mean...we didn't say it often. Love was just something that we knew we had for each other and didn't find necessary to say aloud, but the Christmas spirit washed over me in that moment, and I felt like I needed to say it. So I did. I was almost until I faintly heard his voice in my head.

_I love you, too, Max. _

I smiled in my half sleeping daze.

"Too chicken to say it out loud, huh?"

_No...It just didn't feel like saying that was enough. I was trying to think of something romantic to say before you started to hate me for not saying back, but then I decided that I would never come up with the right words so I'll just settle for I love you. _

"...Really! Why can't you start saying these things out loud so people can hear you?"

_Sorry, hun. That's the point. I don't want anyone hearing me but you. Otherwise it would be wasted air._

"I guess, Fang. I guess."


	7. Mousie?

**Max POV  
**After my snuggle-fest with Fang was done, I went upstairs to check on the kids with their new toys. It turns out that they were also pooped from the early morning rise, and were all fast asleep on top of their new goodies. Except for Evan.

"You're still up?" I said, messing up his hair.

"Yeah. I want to give Juay her present today."

"Yeah but you've got to be tired. Take a quick nap, I'll wake you up later and take you over there."

"Hmmm, I'm not sleepy."

Something was wrong with my son. He wasn't as happy as he usually was this morning.

"Ev, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He shook his head and gave me a fake smile, then kept playing with the zipper of his new hoodie that Fang got him. I plopped down on the couch then picked him up and sat him on my lap. Yeah, as old as he his, I can still pick him up pretty easily. He was still my baby.

"Don't lie to me. Talk to me." He twisted his mouth, then sighed.

"Well, it's just that Christmas gets more and more boring every year; for me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I used to get all the big presents and everyone would wait for me to open my present and I could hug everybody at once, and I'd get all this really cool stuff and then me, you and Dad would sit on the couch and watch a movie or something, and-"

"Wait, you me and Dad? You mean before the twins, and Aiden and Shy?" He nodded.

I think I know what this is about. Evan is started to miss the attention.

"Oh, Ev..."

"I know, I'm too big to be jealous of attention but I just miss when everyone still loved me as much as they did. Like, I know they love me, but they love the Twins and Shy more, and Aiden is just...I don't know. It just feels like every Christmas I get less and less attention. And I miss it."

"Well you know we only don't cater to you like we do with the younger kids because they need it. You can do pretty much anything you want now, they need a little help. Which is why they get more attention. But the love is still there, Evan, you know that."

"Yeah, I just..." He shrugged, sliding a hand through his hair.

"I know you miss when it was just the three of us and we would have our little relaxing moments together. Or when we'd go out flying together. I know."

"And you don't kiss me as much anymore..."

"Huh?"

"You used to kiss me like, every time you saw me. You don't do it anymore."

"I figured you wouldn't want me to!"

"Well of course don't do it front of Juay, but I like when you kiss my head or my cheek mess up my hair like you just did."

"Why?"

"Because it reminds me that I'm still your kid. And you loved me before you loved any of the other kids."

"I sure did." For extra emphasis, I took his face in my hands and kissed him all over, smothering him with my motherly love. I can't help but understand how he feels. He wants to go back to when he was the only one who would be kissed like this. When the love didn't have to be shared.

"Okay! I get it! You can stop now," he laughed.

"I'm sorry." I said and kissed his cheek again.

"It's fine."

"What do you want me to do so you won't feel like this anymore? And no, I can't make your brother and sisters and Shy disappear."

That, I most definitely could not do, but he was my son, my first born, and I would do whatever I could to make him happy. He shouldn't be feeling this way.

"I don't know. Like I said, kisses are good. And...if we could like, spend more time together-"

"Like when I go grocery shopping and out with Missy and stuff?"

"Yeah, that would be cool."

"Alright, Buddy. I guess with all the chaos that's been going on lately, I've forgotten to be _everyone's_ mom. Well, you, the twins and Aiden. There has to be enough of me to spread around. And a little extra for you, my first born."

He smiled, then gave me a hug without looking at me. He was probably blushing and didn't want me to see under all of that emo hair. I kissed the top of his head, and said,

"Do you want to go over Juay's house later or now?"

"Later. I'm sleepy now."

I laughed. I knew he was sleepy! I can spot Sleepy Eyes anywhere. I knew Evan like the back of my hand. Just like how I knew Fang.

"Alright. Well, do you wanna sleep in our bed? I know you used to love being in there..."

"Yeah!"

"Okay, go ahead. I'll wake you up later."

"Okay. Thanks a lot, Mom...I love you."

"I love you too, Evy." I said in a cooing voice, like I was talking to baby Evan again. He rolled his eyes and walked across the hall to me and Fang's bedroom. He closed the door. I shook my head wondering how in the world I ended up with a such a great kid, and three others to match.

(emosewA elbisivnI eniL!)

**Fang POV**

Max was taking Evan to Julianna's house so they could trade presents, so I stayed put with the kids and let them run around in the backyard and play in the snow for a while. I was seated on the deck drinking coffee as I watched them, wishing Max was here with me. Maybe I could throw her in the snow again...

"Hey Daddy!" Jamie yelled.

"Huh?"

"We found a mousie!"

Oh, jeez...

I'm pretty sure finding a mouse outside in the dead of winter is not a good thing. And they definitely shouldn't be _playing _with it for Christ's sake...

"Don't touch it," I yelled. And got up to inspect the "mousie" they had found, and make sure it didn't have any mousie friends that could sneak into the house.

"Where is it?"

"It's right here! Isn't he cute?" Charlotte exclaimed. They had the little thing wrapped in Aiden's hat, which he was never, ever, going wear ever again.

"Yeah, he's adorable." I said sarcastically.

"Can we take him inside and keep him warm?"

"I don't think that's a great idea guys."

"Why not, Dad?" Aiden pouted. I'm not gonna get into my issues with him calling me Dad right now...

"Because mice can have all kinds of diseases that can get you sick. You don't wanna get sick, do you?"

"No, but I heard Auntie Nudge saying that you eated a mouse once when you guys were camping out!"

"I've eaten lots of mice, but that doesn't mean I think it's a good idea to play with one."

"Huh?"

"When I ate those mice, I cooked them first so all the germs would die. So it wouldn't make me sick when I ate it."

"What's a germ?"

I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. Of course they didn't know any of this crap.

"Never mind. Point is, you're not bringing that thing in the house, girls."

"But _Daaaaaaaaaaaaddy_, he's cold! He needs to sit by the fire and eat cheese! We have cheese, right? And mousies eat cheese! Pweeeeeeeeeease?"

"Jamie-"

"Maybe we could have Evan blow it up!" Aiden suggested. The twins looked at him with wide eyes. I think my face gave off a disgusted look. I was pretty mortified right now.

"NO WE CAN'T BLOW HIM UP AIDEN! ARE YOU NUTTY? WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL HIM?" They screamed. Simultaneously.

"Well, all the mousies at home were given to the Erasers for dinner and stuff."

"What are you talking about, dude?" Charlotte yelled in her squeaky voice.

"Umm, Aiden, you're not there anymore. And that's a very very bad way to treat any animal. Whatever you saw there—all of it- was wrong and bad, okay? Just forget whatever you saw there."

"But-"

"No buts. We don't bring up that place anymore, okay?"

"Okay." He pouted, ashamed for being scolded. He had to learn some kind of way, didn't he?

"Now, ladies, you're not bringing that mouse in the house."

"Haha! Daddy made a rhyme!"

"Yeah Daddy do another one!"

"I can't. Look, just put it down, okay? Let's go back in."

"Noooooooooo!"

I sighed. You couldn't tell these girls anything! Just like Max...

"Guys-"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" They screamed, just as a large Eagle swooped down between them and grabbed the mouse with it's talons, along with Aiden's hat, then flew away back up into the sky. That solved that problem.

"NOOOOO! What's he gonna do with a mousie? He's a birdie!"

"He's gonna eat it." I said flatly. They looked at me with horrified expressions. I almost wanted to laugh.

"Why?"

"It's the Circle of Life."

"Wuhh?"

"You guys need to watch the Lion King. Come on. Let's go watch it."

I shuffled all of the kids and their weirded out expressions back into the house so that they could learn that basically everything in life dies. Thankfully, the mouse was long gone up in the mountains somewhere with the Eagle so that the girls couldn't beg me to keep him anymore.

That was easy.


End file.
